Passport to Nowhere

We hadn't thought it necessary to post about the recent changes in passport requirements, figuring that as savvy travelers, you were probably well aware of all that you needed to have and do to continue being the global citizens you are. However, in light of our own recent problems renewing our passport, we thought it might be helpful to take you along on our journey to hell - also known as "dealing with the National Passport Information Center."

January 10th - We mail in our passport renewal forms within the 6 week timeframe given as being necessary to turn around a passport. The application specifically asks for upcoming travel plans, so we put down our departure date of 2/25. A niggling thought in our head tells us to go ahead and pay for the expedited service, which would return our passport via Overnight Service in two weeks, but we figure, hey, there's enough time.

We would come to regret this later. Very very much.

January 19th - The NPIC's online status page still shows no signs of our passport being worked on, or even received, so we call. After waiting on hold for 25 minutes, we reach someone who notes that they have received it and it has been forwarded to the processing center in New Hampshire. At this time, we ask if the travel date on our application would be taken into account, and are reasssured that yes, it will be. (This will, of course, turn out to be completely wrong.)

Early February - We check the online status page again; lo and behold, there is an update. Our passport application is in process and will be sent to us via Priority Mail for arrival on or around 2/20. Fabulous.

February 20th - The day comes and goes with no sign of our passport. We know that the status said "on or around", but with it being a short week due to President's Day and our departure in 5 days, we are starting to get a wee bit nervous. We check online again. We now read "on or around 2/24", at which point panic officially sets in. We call the NPIC. We are on hold for ONE AND A HALF HOURS and eventually hang up in both disgust and distress, not to mention that we are going insane hearing the same 5 minute loop of classical music. Their website also allows you to send in an email inquiry, which they say will be responded to within 2 business days, so we send an email as well. (Note: No response is ever received.)

February 21st - We call back just before noon and after a hold time of only 35 minutes, we reach a nice gentleman who confirms that the passport is being WORKED ON (what?) and also mentions that they have no record of any upcoming travel, which nearly sends us into the stratosphere. After explaining that we do indeed have travel plans, which were indicated on the APPLICATION, we're told that he will put in a request to have the passport finished that day and overnighted. He tells us to call back the following day to confirm that those instructions have been received by the office in New Hampshire.

February 22nd - We start calling around 10:45 a.m. and after repeated attempts in which we reach a voice telling us that they are too busy to even put us on hold, we finally succeed at getting into the on-hold queue, which somehow feels like an accomplishment. Twenty minutes later we speak to Kate, who tells us that the passport was finished the night before but that she sees no indication of it going out overnight. She tells us to call back later, which we dread doing. We ask if there is a number or extension we can use that will bypass the hour-long waits - of course the answer is no. We also check the online status again and see an updated delivery date of "on or around 2/26" - one day after our scheduled departure. We would like to threaten to shoot someone (purely to let off steam, you understand) but realize that in a post-9/11 world this will pretty much nullify our chances of getting a US passport in this lifetime and probably the next one too.

1:00 p.m. - We call back the NPIC within an hour of talking to Kate, because we have a long meeting later and don't want to wait until evening when it seems getting through is impossible, even although they are open until midnight. (We would advise you that the best time to reach them seems to be mid-morning except for the fact that reaching them doesn't seem to make one damn bit of a difference one way or the other.) George says he recommends a reissue, and explains that this will invalidate the first passport and make them reissue a new one immediately and send it by FedEx. He shows us where to find a form online that we will need to fill out for the reissue, but rather than just giving us a number to fax it to, it seems he has to take our cell number so that he can forward it to the gerbils in New Hampshire who will then call us and give us the fax number to send it to them, a rather nice demonstration in bureaucracy. We cancel our meeting and wait for our phone call, form in hand.

5:00 pm. - We have been waiting for 4 hours and our grip on the phone resembles rigor mortis. We call NPIC again. The smarmy Rita notes that we've been busy calling all day, and seems to find the whole thing generally amusing. She says that the New Hampshire office has not picked up the request for a reissue yet, which explains why we now have a completely new appreciation for an old country song, "When the Phone Don't Ring You'll Know It's Me". Rita's advice is to gather new photos, proof of upcoming travel, and the form that was supposed to be faxed in, and get thee to the nearest passport agency at 7:30 in the morning, which would require leaving the house by 6:15 a.m. Aside from the fact that we are not even coherent at that hour, we are pregnant and already extremely overwrought, and feel like this last-minute rushing could actually bring our strained and expanding frame to the brink of physical harm - not to mention complete and utter madness. That would certainly kill the vacation, passport or no passport.

We call our travel agency, Expedia, and advise them of the situation. That niggling feeling we'd had earlier had also advised us to insure our trip, and we purchased insurance that allowed us to cancel our trip for any reason. This seems to be the only saving grace, as this move may well save us roughly $3000 in package costs. They instruct us how to cancel the package if necessary (we figure we'll wait until after mail delivery on Saturday just in case) and are nice enough to deposit $100 into our account for a future trip even though none of this is their fault.

We actually start to cry.

Because we do have the option of canceling and rebooking without major financial penalty, we decide to just wait out the passport. Calling the National Passport Information Agency is a joke - most of the time you can't get through at all, and when you are lucky enough to get put on hold, you have to wait for a minimum of 20 minutes. When you finally reach a human, they seem to want to help for the most part, but their efficiency is diminished by the fact that the people who actually have the passport are not reading the messages, but are up there playing around in Second Life, totally unconcerned with those of us in this one. Either that or they are, as we suggested before, not even people but gerbils, a theory we are becoming more convinced of since no one has actually spoken to or received any communication from these so-called "people".

February 23 - Just to see if there are any updates, and to torture ourselves one last time, we make one final call to NPIC. We're on hold for 15 minutes, a record low. The person who answers says our passport went out yesterday. We ask if it was overnighted, he answers that it went out via Priority Mail, the service they normally use. Their website said that two days ago. We wearily mention that our vacation will most likely be shot and he mutters a completely useless "Sorry". We know it's not his fault, but that is the whole problem here - unlike a company that might actually be interested in keeping clients happy, the US government can't be held accountable. They couldn't care less if we lose a few grand on a vacation, and there is no one to hold responsible for the apparent failure to read the travel dates on the renewal application, or the subsequent failures to respond to requests to get the damn thing out a day or two sooner. Because that's all we needed - a day.

It's still not too late. Mail today came and went but there's always tomorrow, our last day before departure, although we are not holding out much hope here. But the lessons here are:

1. If you are renewing your passport and have ANY travel plans within 6-10 weeks, pay for getting your passport expedited so that it arrives within 2 weeks. You do not have to pay an outside agency to do this for you, you can pay the fee yourself along with your renewal fee and forms. You do not even have to show proof of travel (that's usually reserved for those that need passports within 14 days). It will cost you an extra $60 but will save priceless amounts of aggro, not to mention the possible cost of canceling/rebooking your vacation.

2. Insure your trips - always always always. Thank God we got this one right. And check your insurance carefully - not all carriers and packages cover the same thing - many plans only cover cancellation due to illness, death, accident, or some other physical trauma. Our plan, which allows us to cancel for any reason, is a lifesaver, and only cost roughly $50 per person. We have to look at it more carefully - the air may not be reimbursed but rather a credit issued for future travel, which is fine with us since we hope to be in the air within two weeks - but you should always have some sort of insurance, especially if you can already foresee a possible problem with your travel as we did. Don't just assume that everything will be fine.

3. Of course, we'd be negligent if we didn't remind you that as of late January, all US citizens entering the United States by air need a valid US passport. Prior to this, one could travel to many countries in the Caribbean and some in Latin America without a passport: since those countries didn't require a passport but just a birth certificate, you were okay. But remember, it's not the other countries that have changed their requirements, but the US. So although you may be able to get to Panama just showing your birth certificate, you won't be coming back here without a passport.

4. Finally, since we're all about traveling with the kids, yes, all children, regardless of age, need passports too, and both parents will need to appear in person to apply for it (there are exceptions, check here for what those are).

We hope these tips will help you to avoid our drama. We'll let you know if we made it out of here or not.