The Ritz-Carlton, Golf & Spa Resort, Rose Hall, Jamaica

Our recent stay at the Ritz-Carlton in Jamaica was all the more necessary for all the passport drama we endured in the week leading up to our departure (see our previous post). Now we are back in sub-zero temperatures, and it already feels like we need another vacation.

Sigh. Ah well. We can but dream, and relive the warmth of both the climate and the Jamaican staff as we tell you all about it...

Resort: The resort is typical Ritz-Carlton, luxury in a classic, rather staid setting. You'll be well-taken care of here, but if modern, interesting or innovative architecture is your thing, look elsewhere - you'll experience no ahhhh moment when you walk through the lobby doors for the first time, or into your room. The beach is also small and rocky - water shoes are a must for kids and certainly advisable for parents. We knew this and were prepared, but we saw more than one group turn away from the surf when they passed from sandy to rocky.

Room Pros: There really was nothing incredibly remarkable about our garden-view standard room, except perhaps what first struck us as a bilious shade of green that actually worked with the plantation-style furnishings and brightly colored rug. (Rooms are also painted in yellow or pink.) The king bed was very comfortable with lots of pillows. There was also a desk, and two desk chairs, a separate armchair, and bed bench offered ample additional seating. Our closet had the usual safe (which could hold a small laptop if you stood it on end), an umbrella, and an ironing board and iron. The separate water closet and double-sink marble vanity in the bathroom were typical Ritz touches, and D got a kick out of waving to either of us from her bath while we showered in the glass-enclosed marble stall across the bathroom (the door handle allowed for strategically draping a towel so that lower regions were covered from her view). We also loved the lit makeup mirror - it was perfect for shaving and makeup and it performed double duty as a nightlight at bedtime.

Room Cons: At 480 square feet, the room was good for an adult couple but a bit small for a couple with a child. Mind you, we're not complaining - it was a perfectly serviceable room and we didn't feel like sardines, it's just that we like a bit more space. The balcony had a railing of stone columns, spaced just far enough for D to look out without our having to worry about her falling. The one touch we would have loved - and which would have been perfectly placed in this British colonial-styled room - would have been a ceiling fan.

The beds were a tad squeaky: we thought it was just ours but the point was driven home when our neighbors got frisky in the wee hours of the morning. With that and the ecstatic moans, we realized: hmmm, not really soundproof in here. (Not that you or your kids would be loud for your respective reasons, but if you were thinking about it, take note.)

Room Service: Our room service experience was, for the most part, a pleasure. The food was always promised in 30 minutes, we always got it in the allotted time, and the food was quite good - there just weren't enough choices. The spare menu left us bored after three meals.

Restaurants: You've got a few restaurants to choose from here. We never made it to White Witch, the Ritz's clubhouse restaurant on its golf course. A complimentary shuttle takes you to and from but we were admittedly too lazy to pursue it. Horizon serves a casual breakfast that includes an all-you-can-eat-buffet, and a resort casual dinner. Jasmine is an adult-only restaurant and probably the only place aside from the golf course itself that you'll find no children. Mangos is their beachside restaurant: they do the pool service and the dinner we had there one night was excellent. Unfortunately we never made it to the Reggae Jerk Center, a casual lunch spot on the beach, but were excited that this upscale property was offering a literal taste of local culture, a feature too many resorts go out of their way to avoid in the Caribbean. Don't make our mistake and miss it.

Service Pros: As would be expected, the service here was extremely attentive without being intrusive or overbearing. Every request was met with grace - D's nightly off-the-menu dinner requests for Frosted Flakes or Rice Krispies, both at the restaurant and for in-room dining, were mildly chuckled at and happily fulfilled.

Service Cons: The only con, if this can be said to be one, was that the staff was almost too enamored of D. We weren't worried about D being spirited away by trespassers on the property, but we sure had to keep an eye out for the staff: one pool waitress informed us with a bold smile that she was taking D for a walk. We smiled hesitantly, not wanting to appear distrustful, but 10 minutes later when there was no sign of her or our daughter, panic began to set in. Mind you, it wasn't that we didn't trust the staff. It was that we are city parents who don't trust anyone. Hubby went to find D and found her happily chomping on a dripping ice cream bar while her self-styled nanny chatted with a friend - she said she wanted to give us, the parents, some time alone. (Nice thought, but we prefer to plan our alone time rather than have our offspring suddenly kidnapped.) While D never actually disappeared again, it wasn't for lack of trying, and she was offered all sorts of ice cream, cookies, and candy by the staff who dubbed her Princess. We rued having to wean her off of all that junk when we got home, but it was obvious that this staff, both men and women, genuinely likes children.

Mom & Dad Stuff: There is a small but well-serviced fitness center, with apples, bananas and water readily available for exercising adults. The adjacent spa offers a wealth of facial, massage and beauty treatments. We treated ourselves to an Island Aromatherapy massage and a Maternity Massage, both much needed. Our only complaints: The therapist for the maternity massage started with cold hands and cold oil, not a pleasant beginning in an air-conditioned room. And the hallway outside the treatment rooms was often filled with chattering and laughing staff, which kept us from achieving the blissful nirvana we aim for when having our sore muscles pampered...

You'll probably see this in a lot of future posts, but we were not thrilled that internet access cost an additional $14.95 a day. We think that in this day and age, that should be an included cost. Perhaps not everyone is using it, but they could add $2.00 a day to the vague resort fees that most places charge (funny, we thought that the room rate was the resort fee), and they'd still come out ahead. We paid more for three days of internet access than we pay per month at home.

Wee Amenities: The Kids' Menu has an extremely limited selection of the usual suspects: mac and cheese, hot dog, hamburger, chicken fingers, green salad and grilled cheese sandwich. This may be due to the fact that most young children only like about three foods, but even D got bored with the choices after the second day and started pulling her meal choices out of thin air. Thankfully, this presented no problems with the aim-to-please staff. (If you've been smart and lucky enough to get your kids to eat from the adult menu, know that their meals might cost you extra in the all-inclusive plans - see below.)

There is a small children's playground set off to the side of the property, but we never saw anyone using it, perhaps because most of the kids we saw were in the 3-and-under crowd? D played on it a few times and thoroughly enjoyed herself.

There is also a Ritz-Kids Program. Kids ages 5 and up can attend so we weren't able to try it out, but it looked pretty comprehensive, with half- and full-day programs as well as themed Kids Nights Out four nights a week, all of which cost extra. The helpful brochure includes some unexpected info, like the 3-step disciplinary procedure they'll use should your little angel turn into Damien after you drop him off: a warning, a timeout, and finally a call to you to pick up your evil spawn.

Special Tips: If you have young children and are booking your travel online using Expedia, Orbitz or the like, don't book any additional activities when booking your travel. JTL, the same company that was included on Expedia's website for additional tour bookings, also has a desk at the Ritz. By booking tours on-site, we avoided being charged for D on two out of three tours where Expedia's engine would have charged us for her automatically. The desk was also able to provide a lot more information about how long tours would last, how appropriate one would be for a particular age group, and what any particular activity entailed.

This property currently features an All-Inclusive Package that we strongly urge as a must-buy. We booked our original package without it and then added it on for what was only an additional $148 a day. We were easily spending over $200 a day on meals (3 virgin pina coladas by the pool were $21, for instance), so in the end adding it saved us money. However, we have read reports that trying to add the package after your arrival could entail steeper costs, so it makes sense to do this ahead of time. Until April 30th, kids under 4 eat free from the Kids Menu when parents pay for this plan, and from May 1 to December 19th, children under 11 eat free from the Kids Menu. (We found the resort to be very accommodating when D ate off-menu, however, perhaps due to the fact that it was just cereal and pizza that she was ordering - we were not charged for those choices.)

Final Notes: We were surprised to see that this place was crawling with children. We'd read that this was a child hotspot on some websites like Tripadvisor and just chalked it up to coincidence, but it seems that no matter when you go, you're going to meet up with toddlers and young ones in abundance. The resort staff must be accustomed to catering to the younger set - kids receive the same gracious welcome and treatment that their parents do. (We also noted at least five other pregnant women with toddlers, perhaps also on their final babymoons before #2 arrived.) While this spot is not a must-repeat for us, due to its rather uninspired setting and the wealth of more unique properties both in Jamaica and elsewhere, we certainly felt at ease with our child and could conceivably come back for a quick carefree vacation on a long weekend.

Kid Grade: A: for their lavish attention to children
Parent Grade: B+: attentive service in a rather forgettable setting